Mama, Stop Trying to Carry All the Things

His cherub face looks up at me, 5 stuffed animals in his arms,  “No, Mama! I do it myself!”

This picture was snapped almost a year ago, but both of my boys still like to carry ALL the THINGS.

We’ve tried reasoning (“Hey bud, you can’t hold all of those things. God gave us only two hands”). We’ve tried giving them a bag to put their things in so they don’t keep dropping things (especially cars….oh ALL the cars!) as they are walking and crying and going back to pick up the items that escaped only to drop more items and cry more tears. We’ve tried limiting the number of things they hold and saying they can choose only ONE thing to come with us. We’ve tried offering to hold some of their treasured possessions so they don’t have to hold all of them. We’ve tried avoiding the problem all together by telling them they have to leave everything at home.

But for some reason, they continue to want to carry so many things at once. Day to day the items they choose may change, but it never fails, when it’s time for us to go upstairs or leave to go on a walk or load up in the car, panic ensues on their little faces as they try to frantically collect all the things they are currently playing with. As I watch them trying to juggle more than their little hands can hold, I hear God whisper to my soul, “This is you. You so often try to carry things you were never meant to hold. ” He gently says, “Stop, daughter. You don’t need to carry all the things. I am strong, and I am good and I have it all.”

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Are there things I simply need to put down? Events I’ve said, “yes” to, certain things I’ve put on my plate to do for a “fun” summer, certain educational activities I want to do with the boys, books I want to read, parties that need to be planned, floors that need to be cleaned, loads of laundry that need to be done, rooms in the home that need organizing. Do I really need to do ALL of the things? Can I do all of the things well? Just because they may be good things don’t mean they are God’s best.

He has assigned us each work to do (Ephesians 2:10). And we glorify Him by finishing the work He gave us to do (John 17:4), not the work we give ourselves: the heaping spoonfuls of things we put on our plates with the hopes that it may please Him. I am so guilty of trying to balance all of the things, too many things and then running around like a frantic, frazzled lady instead of one who is steady and full of trust, with arms opened for unexpected things God may choose to give that day.

If our hands are full we don’t have any room for God to give us the unexpected things, the things He may want us to carry for the day or season. Maybe you are supposed to have several free days on your calendar SO THAT you can say yes when He asks you to serve someone who crosses your path.

If my boys are trying to hoard all of their treasured possessions they won’t have the ability to grab ahold of something we may want to bless them with.

But, you better believe if I bake some fresh cookies and say, “Boys! Cookies!” They drop their things and come running.

They let go of their “treasures” for a seemingly better one.

Do I? Do we?

I heard an analogy many years ago about how we should have an open hand policy with God. He gives us so many things, but we shouldn’t clutch them with a tightly closed fist. If we do, it will hurt when He tries to take them from us or rearrange the blessings He has given us. And if our hands are clutched so tightly around our things, our lives, our wants and dreams we cannot receive what He wants to give us.

If we have an open hand, He is free to take and remove and rearrange and bless with more things.

Everything we have is His to begin with. He is the owner. All of our things are on loan. Are we being faithful?

So my encouragement today is this, if you are exhausted and trying to do TOO many things. Maybe you just need to stop. Who told you a “good mom” does x, y and z? Maybe you just need to say yes to x and no to y and z. Are the things you are trying to carry from you or from Him? Who are you competing with? Motherhood is not a competition. Someone else’s success doesn’t mean our failure. We are called to simply be faithful to God to raise the little ones He has entrusted to us. Take a deep breath, and remember He will equip you to be the mother your kids need. Know that you are His daughter and you do not have to DO to be approved. He has done it all on the cross. And He will provide everything you need today. He is just as pleased with me on the days when B comes home, the house is a wreck, I’m still in my pajamas and the tv has been on for hours as He is on the days when everything is picked up, I have make-up on, I’ve “taught” the boys something that day, and there is a home cooked meal in the oven.

Related Post (when you feel like you’re having one of “those” days):

Or alternatively, maybe you are trying to carry things you literally CANNOT carry, like the salvation of your children, their health, their well being, things that are simply out of our control. WE can pray and act and trust, but we cannot save our children. We cannot heal them. We cannot protect them from everything in the world, but we can prepare them. If we try to carry things we cannot carry, it will ruin us. Jesus says His yoke is easy and His burden is light (Matthew 11:30). We show our children His strength when we admit we are weak. When we are weak, He is strong (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). When we are honest with our children about our lack of ability to “do it all”, they see that we need Jesus, and isn’t that the goal? To point them to Him?

Perhaps you are holding on too tightly to a certain dream: the way you want your family to look (number of kids, boys/girls, age gaps, etc), what kind of home you’d love, what you want your community to look like, or certain things you’d like to own- and maybe, just maybe God is whispering to let go of your dreams, to lay them down and have your arms wide open, ready to receive His plan. Because it is not about us. The best life comes from surrender to Him and living for His kingdom and not our own (so much easier said than done!). His ways are so much better, even when they don’t seem like it at first.

So, why do both of my big boys insist on carrying all the things?! Maybe this is God reminding me I can’t do this either. None of us can carry all the things. He is in control and we are not, and I know I need to learn to put down my “things” and trust Him to carry the load.

Related Post: When being a mom is infinitely harder than you expected and you end up having kiddos super close in age

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