Do the Hard Things, Even when it seems like you deserve a medal for keeping everyone alive for the day

Sometimes as parents we have a whole fun day planned. We’ve looked up the free events in our community and packed the bags and planned the meals and we are excited to show our kids the day. We just cannot wait to get our little ones dressed up and out the door, ready for an adventure. But, somehow it never seems to go according to the plans I have dreamed up. Instead of obedience and joy, we are often met with complaining, whining, and dare I say, many, many tantrums.

Today we went to our community’s easter egg hunt. Food trucks, sno cones, a fire truck, carnival stations, face painting and an easter egg hunt for the little ones, basically a perfect recipe for a family-fun filled day!

Except in reality we have 3 kids 3 and under and the hour that we were there felt like a day. Tantrums from all 3 of our boys at different points-the expectation and reality quite different.

Related Post (for those of you who are having multiple kiddos together like us):

It’s days like these that are simultaneously bitter and sweet. I try to hold on to them as I snap a photo (or 100), but I feel these little years slipping through my fingers. I think one day, this is all we will have left of these glorious but oh so very hard little years. As I look at their little faces as I try to get all of them to look at me at the same time, I can almost see myself looking at this photo a decade from now, aching for one more day. Time can be cruel. But at the same time, I long to see my boys grow and learn and experience all that God has for them.

I have been tempted to stay home on the days when every thing results in a meltdown. The socks aren’t fitting right, I made him wear the shorts he did not want to put on, I took a bite of his cracker, I only kissed him 4 times before nap time instead of 5, the list goes on. And sometimes I do stay home due to exhaustion or laziness or fear that I may not be able to survive their meltdowns in public, but most of the time, getting out there, doing the “fun” thing is worth it.

Pictures say 1000 words but then again, they don’t. If you look at this photo of happy smiling boys, you have no idea that seconds before and after their eyes were spilling over with alligator tears because we took away their snocones, or Dada held their hand instead of Mama.

A few weeks ago we went on a trip to the zoo with my sister and Mom and it was a madhouse. We should have known better to go during Spring Break, but we got up super early and we made it. While waiting in the mile long line for the bathroom on the way out, an exhausted Mom trying to wrangle her kids looked up at us and said, “we deserve a medal for being here today.” And at first I wasn’t sure what to think about her comment, but then I thought you know, I understand what she means.

Some days, you just feel like you deserve a medal for getting every one dressed and out the door (shout out to you working mamas who do this every single day!), or waiting in the doctor’s office for 3 hours. One of the most challenging things of being a stay at home Mom is that no one sees you. Or at least, it may feel that way. Unlike a job in the real world where you usually get some sort of feedback from coworkers or bosses or clients, in the day to day, of taking care of little people full time no one sees all the very small things that you do, the cooking and cleaning and the feeding again and again. The kissing of the boo boos that some how magically makes everything better, the explaining and disciplining and reading and singing. The teaching and wrestling and playing and the marathon of bedtime routines. It may feel like you are alone. But you are not. There are those little eyes watching you. They see every single thing you do, good or bad and are quick to imitate.

Related Post (When you are attempted to simply correct and say NO all day long, don’t forget the power of specific praise!):

There are days I long for a “real” job, adult conversation, something to do that feels more productive than cleaning off the kitchen counter for the 157th time that day, and de-escalating a tantrum for the 1000th time, but then I remember, “Your greatest contribution to the kingdom of God may not be something you do, but someone you raise.” -Andy Stanley. And “Children are not a distraction from your work. They are your most important work.”- (maybe) C.S. Lewis

On days when it feels like no one sees, remember they see. And HE sees, and aren’t THEY and HE really the most important ones? So press on, Mama. Do the hard and simple things. They are watching. And what you do is vitally important. Try to remember they are only this little once. The phases quickly morph- for my boys it’s been balls and books, and now cars and trains. From moms of older boys, I’ve heard the cars are soon cast aside for the lego phase, and then perhaps the nerf gun wars, the video games, and soon they won’t want to play with any of their toys at all (did Toy Story 3 bring anyone else to tears?). Somehow the days become weeks and the weeks become months and the months become years. And my little baby is 3 years old, dressing himself (lately, only in athletic gear) and the “Mama” from his mouth has been replaced with “Mom”? It happens so fast, oh please Lord, don’t let me miss it! Help me to live in the present, to be fully here and to choose the most important over the most urgent. Help me to have the patience to endure their many fits and the wisdom to instruct and teach and encourage their little minds to grow. Help me to shape their character and to put down the phone.

And if you see another Mama (or Papa) out there in the midst of the tantrums, give a kind word of encouragement because sometimes they feel like they deserve a medal just for keeping all of their little people alive that day.

Related Post (when even those first days raising a newborn seem SO very hard, remember you are not alone):

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